By Rachel Cieri

You don’t just date the guy; you date the entire fraternity when it comes to fraternity boyfriends.

Her Campus took a check out the experiences of fraternity girlfriends to hand out the battles and successes of dating a guy who’s gone Greek.

Professional: Guy-friends galore

Elon University senior Katie Hatcher discovered in early stages that being fully a fraternity gf suggested significantly more than coping with her beau’s penchant for bowties. She came across her previous boyfriend of two-and-a-half years during freshman orientation, so when he accepted a bid from the fraternity the fall that is next Hatcher quickly noticed her boyfriend’s brotherhood would become hers too.

The relationships he developed paralleled on her end, leaving her with a slew of male friends as her boyfriend earned his letters, embraced traditions and introduced Hatcher to the fraternity social scene.

“One bro believed to me, ‘The fraternity protects its very own, and you’re one of our personal,’” Hatcher says.

Also after she along with her fraternity beau split, she stayed friends because of the males to who she usually offered advice, baked snacks for and turned to in tough times. “The fraternity got me personally during that breakup,” Hatcher claims. “They babysat me every step for the method.”

Elon junior Cece Fitzgerald claims her year-long relationship along with her boyfriend stretched her friendships together with his brothers. Nearly all her sorority siblings are their shared friends, finishing her Greek-esque circle that is social.

“Hanging down using them is one thing I’d be doing irrespective,” Fitzgerald claims. “It just causes it to be easier that I’m dating him.”

Con: It’s nearly a task

Using the advantages comes the responsibility of social obligation. A fraternity girlfriend is usually likely to devote the loyalty that is same her boyfriend pledged to the brotherhood, despite the fact that she’s perhaps maybe not the only putting on the letters.

“I went through pledging with him,” Hatcher says of her previous fraternity boyfriend. “It ended up being very hard because he ended up beingn’t available. It absolutely was emotionally taxing, and then he had been exhausted all of the time.”

Pledging meant that Hatcher’s then-boyfriend missed activities that have been vital that you her, nevertheless the fault had been frequently dumped on the as he missed down for a fraternity event that is social.

“If it absolutely was a Friday night and then he wasn’t venturing out, his brothers would call us to ask why,” Hatcher says.

“I think whenever you date somebody in a fraternity, you need to be ready to date their buddies, too,” says Kate Hopkins, an Elon senior who dated a fraternity guy at Georgia State University.

Pro: The girlfriends’ club

Fraternity girlfriends are just like cheerleaders at a football game – they’re not the event that is main but they’re a group nonetheless. The girlfriends can’t help but get to know one another after showing up to the same date parties and dinners week after week.

“For the full 12 months, any other Monday, a number of the girlfriends would meet up to own meal, and we’d either double- or triple-date every Wednesday,” Hatcher claims of her knowledge about “the girlfriends’ club.”

Hopkins, whom dated her fraternity that is former boyfriend couple of years, states she experienced exactly the same feeling of community with all the other girlfriends.

“The girls took me personally in their circle that is inner and like, ‘this is how it operates,’” Hopkins claims. “It ended up being good to own girls to hold down with when I ended up being visiting.”

Con: contending with guys for their attention

Any company may be a large dedication, many fraternities are since needy as Sammi and Ronnie on Jersey Shore, demanding a brother’s attention every waking minute. And therefore can keep a gf feeling as an afterthought as opposed to the focal point.

“There were times once I was at the frat house until three each day before he’d return and simply take me personally house,” Hopkins claims.

Even if she had been visiting, her boyfriend that is former would vanish all day. There have been points whenever she desired to simply tell him “I’m here, too. You must anything like me significantly more than them.”

Hopkins’s previous beau went right from their pledge duration to a leadership place that left him constantly planning the following special day and Hopkins feeling like they couldn’t getting away from the fraternity tradition.

“Because they usually have a great deal of secrets which they can’t tell anyone, we felt like I became regarding the outside searching in,” Hopkins claims.

Fitzgerald, though, suggests that every a girlfriend has to do is keep some room for man time.

“Let him do their own thing together with his fraternity,” she claims. “Of course he’ll desire to be with you, too, therefore allow him be together with his brothers, then participate in later.”

Professional: An Improved boyfriend

Greek Life might inform you that joining a fraternity does change you, n’t but that’s not at all times the outcome.

Hatcher, who came across her previous boyfriend long she thought the experience made him a better, more social person before he entered the bonds of brotherhood, says.

“I liked it because he had been constantly therefore bashful,” she claims. “It taught him backbone. He had been asserting himself more, and it also made him more taught and ambitious him how exactly to balance a routine.”

Fitzgerald states after serving their term as president associated with fraternity, her boyfriend became so much more mature, having dealt using the obligations of their position. She says she thinks fraternity men gain a set that is strong of through the core concepts upon that the fraternity is created.

“I think guys highly tied making use of their fraternity you will need to live by their ritual every and that helped us connect on a deeper level,” she said day.

Con: The mob mindset

For since smart and mature as he might appear one-on-one, the fraternity boy is suffering from the casual episode of idiocy and less-than-classy behavior.

Hopkins states she saw her previous boyfriend do “a many more stuff that is stupid when he joined a fraternity.

“I think he set a tree on fire one time,” she says. “The old him never ever will have done that.”

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